Taper Madness

4 days out and I'm going crazy. I always have this habit of letting my emotions build up until I burst, and my feelings about this race is no exception.

Several days ago I had a melt down because I was going through my wedding pics from our simple ceremony in City Hall and I was disappointed that my brother didn't bother to dress up, (about the one thing I had asked everyone to do). I texted my sister, and she conceded that, on that particular day, everyone was in their own world, and apologized that she always took me for granted. Of course, I was just throwing myself a pity party, spurred on half by the effects of my hormones getting out of whack. I get extremely moody right before my period, and do silly things like, cry during sentimental commercials and stuff. I know, pitiful. (And thank goodness I'm getting it right before I go!)

Poor Chris had to sit through this entire episode, and got annoyed with me, (rightfully so). But then he contacted a photographer who was looking for couples to photograph for a portfolio redo, and on Wednesday we're meeting up with her for a free shoot. How sweet is that? (Our nightmare/dream of buying our first home pretty much left us financially and emotionally drained that we squashed all hopes of us ever going through the process of getting engagement pics, wedding planning, etc., so this was a really awesome reprieve.)

I think the tapering intensifies all that's going on, because there's no real training to focus on except for what's ahead. And then all those doubts surface, and everything becomes a trigger, and things that didn't bother me much starts to become this bubble that rises to the surface. It's like I'm antsy, excited, nervous, annoyed, jumpy, and happy all at the same time. Kinda like that horse on the race tracks inside the starting box, waiting for the gates to open, except that waiting period is two weeks.

I'm trying to write up a list of what to bring, and so far I have this:

• MCM confirmation number
• hotel confirmation number
• sneakers
• shirt
• socks
• hat
• pouch
• Gu
• water bottle
• Body Glide
• tylenol
• chocolate
• charger
• tape

I know I'm missing something but I don't know what yet.